To Battle Yourself Which isn't Yourself
by Julian Katra
Summary: What happens when i darkness takes over ones mind, propelling them into a place where they can only be freed by the thing that was lost, hope and the will to live.
1. Default Chapter

WOW I have to thank JeRee for the inspiration his/her story gave me.  

Now on with the story… hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 1 Silver is my Color and my Prison.**

For two months torturous dreams had been plaguing my sleep.  The rest and energy I needed to survive and use to protect my angel, the energy I needed to keep my angel happy.

Not that I had been making her very happy lately, I knew she was alive and in somewhat good health but, I was reminded, if not by the moon then by her, that she was unhappy, I knew that if she had truly nothing in her life to live for my own incompetent actions could very well cause her to BE nothing.  

Sighing, the man with ebony tresses turned his head away from the window he had been gazing so longingly out of, out at the moon.  The moon, a constant reminder of what his love for his angel meant to him and what she was a part of.  The moon, the mother and protector to all beings on the planet beneath it, earth.  His angel was a part of that and was a protector for even people like him.

I know I have been holding her back from having a true life, these dreams can only be proof of that, but… to keep her thinking that there is always hope for our return in a relationship... to keep her… forced… to be unhappy.  I don't know if I can handle that responsibility.  

He sighed and gazed at the silver moon once again, what will I do?

Unknowing to this man the same thought crossed another's mind, the very girl he, not alone, was thinking of.  His angel, with honey colored hair still set up in an original style of buns and pigtails.  His angel, with her cerulean eyes that glistened every so often with tears, his unhappy angel that sat looking out at the moon just like he. 

What am I to do?  He won't talk to me; he shuns me… half the time he won't even look at me!  Am I so repulsive?  What happened to make him change his love for me? I know I cannot give up, but to hold on… it is so hard.  I'm supposed to be the happy little angel that everyone can see skipping down the street, but the street that I skip down everyday has just become as gloomy as my life.  

The girl sighed looking up towards the heavens the stars trying giving some sort of ray of hope.  It was no use, nothing could shine through the darkness that ever so slowly crept into the child of light's mind, and would most likely never leave.

Darien, I hope you can hear me, she thought kneeling in prayer to the iridescent moon, please come back to me, I know you still care but I can't see why your driven away.  Mother, help me to be brave, help me to become stronger, for my mind to become wiser, for my heart to be even more so open.  Help me to shine so he can see who I am, so he can see my beauty… then maybe he will take me back.

And so, she stayed in that position beyond her plea of help, thinking of her friends, her family and her hardships, trying to give reasons to the gods to let her have even the merest bit of love, to let her have what she had earned for over one thousand years.  To let her love, see how much she loved him.

The man, Darien, obviously didn't hear.  The next day when the angel woke up early to purposely crash into him, as if to give him a reminder that she was still waiting, waiting for him to return just like he remembered to do from a thousand years ago.

He didn't.

So they went on with there lives plagued by dreams and loneliness, hoping against all odds to find a way to be together.  Serena, the angel, worked hard to become smarter and purposely left test papers where she knew he would come across them.  When he came across them, he smiled briefly at the test mark whether in the sixties or in the nineties and left it where it was walking out of the crown, the library, or walking back into his apartment.  The angel wouldn't cry so much in battle and did her best to protect the others, yet he merely did his duty, then turned and walked away when the battle was over.  

She never gave up hope, if she didn't before when Ann and Alan were around, when he didn't remember, why now?  Yet the darkness was still there, creeping further and further into her mind creating doubts she only battled and new of in her dreams, or nightmares.

Enemies came and went, and with that also a year swept by leaving friends a worried mess, and both ignoring each others existences while bringing peace back to the earth.  Friends didn't know how to console one or the other; they stuck together though, through good time and bad.  Worry was etched deeply into their souls, worry and exhaustion that caused their happiness to be affected.

The group of five girls could always be seen together… unless they were in school of course.  Whether it was studying, which they actually got down to doing after Mina and Serena stopped goofing off, to shopping at the mall.  

Serena kept up her smile, and her constant hope even through all of her strife. 

Neither, Raye, Mina, Lita or Amy ever realized that Serena's hope was all that really kept her together, rational, or strong, but most of all… alive.

So when on June 13th 2004, when Chiba, Darien was found lying on the pavement under his apartment balcony at four fifteen in the morning dead, dead, Serena would only be left to let her life crumble away.  The possible causes of death, only one, suicide.

His room was searched and in a box at the back of his closet was found pictures of his angel, possible identities, one, former girlfriend, Serena Tsukino.

Beyond that box full of memories was found a tightly wrapped present addressed to Serena Tsukino for the previous year when she turned fifteen.  

The angel found out on the news that morning that her beloved had given up on their love in a fashion that left her empty.  She received that tightly wrapped present from two police officers that afternoon, both looking distraught over the tears that did not belong in the young girl's eyes.  Tears that that did not hide the shadow in her cerulean orbs.  Tears a child was too young to bear.  She left to her room fervently, in hopes to hide her grief; she knew it was not possible.  She looked at the gift that lay on her bed from her lover, her forever lover, and her lover of the past.  Slowly she opened it, wishing tears would stop blurring her vision.  The pristine wrapping slowly came off the box, revealing another box with a lid in old faded wrapping she remembered mentioning a long time ago she had liked.  Dreading the contents of the box she opened it and inside laid a pair of two perfect glass slippers, the same pair that she had dreamed of wearing on her wedding day.  A fresh sob escaped her mouth as she picked up the delicate slippers, tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks, the only thought escaping through mind was, that HE had still loved me.

She cried long and hard holding this dear present to her chest as if it were her lifeline.  She locked herself in her room and ignored the please of a mother you sobbed in her child's grief as she banged on the door, begging for her to eat, to do something anything.  

Nothing got her out.  

The funeral, three days later, was on a day so bright that it seemed rude to hold such a sad event.  Serena, wearing a pink set of overalls a little white t-shirt and a black cloak from a long ago play where her beloved had been the starring prince, the only black thing she owned.  She held the box containing her glass slippers to her chest, and resting in a space in the crook of her arm was a picture, that she found much later in the bottom of the box, a picture with a broken picture frame with her and him smiling happily together in the park.  The girls stood beside her, trying to support her, while crying themselves. Andrew and Haruka, with stony eyes placed a hand on either of the mourning girls shoulders, Michelle and Setsuna stood with them, respecting a once great prince.  Serena's family stood on the opposite side of the grave bowing their heads respectively.

Serena, having been left with all of Darien's possessions and money used some of it to make a handsome tombstone.  Written across the center underneath and angel holding a delicate rose was "Long have we been together, true to our hearts.  Even in the end will we always be connected, not by a crystal or a past, but by our love!"

As the ceremony ended, Serena's eyes so clouded over she could barely see, she laid a black rose and a red rose upon his grave and said, "Together we were happy, apart we were so sad.  In hopes that you'll watch over me, I leave a rose so black." A sob escaped her lips as she was guided be her loving friends and family to a car that led back to her home.

The darkness had now taken over, and all that was left to her was protecting a world that she felt so alone in.  Her hope, her had been lifeline had been cut and nothing she had near her could fill that gap in her soul.

And so was born Chaos.

Chaos a being born of hatred and darkness slowly consumed Serena's mind.  Her friends and her busied themselves with studying for exams going to the mall, staying away from the Crown Arcade, but, eventually, Serena stopped appearing so often, then not at all. 

She missed all of her exams and a note was sent home to a family full of worry that she had one more chance to complete them, July eighteenth.  She never read the note, her mother instead informed her since she stayed locked in her room only letting in family, only letting in people she could hear all the time discuss what she looked like, how she had changed.

In truth she stopped caring, and of this negative energy, Chaos grew.  It a being inside of her mind left her with no rational thought, and one day when her mother went in wit an early breakfast, she found her daughter gone.   

The scream that echoed throughout an empty room was so agonizing that the birds had stopped chirping, and the sun dimmed.  This was July eighteenth; this was the day Chaos attacked.

The sky turned charcoal black as two officers, the same two officers who once delivered a tightly wrapped present, arrived at the Tsukino home.  That was when fire erupted in the city and screaming echoed through out the town.  And in the middle of this mess, was found Serena Tsukino standing there gazing out at the fire, smiling at the confusion.  Eleven soldiers arrived and froze mid step and mid speech.  Their princess friend and fighter, stood there.

"Serena, please you need to transform, we need to stop this chaos!" Raye, a now transformed Mars, announced urgently.  

Serena answered back in a voice not her own, "What if we don't want to be stopped!" irrational laughter followed this comment, explosions and screams resonating throughout the little city.

A fight broke out right then and there a fight that would last for a very long time, a fight that started the time of AD, after death.  

For no matter how long or how hard, these brave fighters begged back their princess, she would not come.  Having but the last of there strength and hopes they brought forth a power in them, a power which would cause the world many years of war.  Together, Mercury, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto confined there princess in a statue of silver, the only element which could stop any breed of the moon and enchanted it.  The princess, the angel Serena would come to her senses and would eventually fight of this demon inside of her, while her statue and the statue of her friends traveled to the dark side of the moon, to a place where the humans could not see as of yet, Hectate.  To a place where they all would remain until their friend could control this evil inside of her.

There I hope you liked it!  If any one has any comments please feel free to review me!  Thanks for reading… BYE!!!


	2. Who's Who?

- I hope you enjoy the second d chapter, and a special thanks to my reviewers, I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!! ****

**Chapter 2****- Who's Who?**

Serena blinked her eyes to rid herself of the fog, a fog that did not disappear.  

"Where am I?" she asked no one but herself and her heavy heart.  Hearing the faint echo of her voice she looked around only to find this thick mist encasing everything. 

"What am I doing hear?" this time believing she would not get an answer relaxed to ponder her location.

"You are with me, trapped." A familiar voice sounded behind her.  She gasped and looked behind herself to find… herself, or at least what could have been her.  The same cerulean blue eyes looked back at her.  The same honey colored hair floated freely behind her, the same body, and the same face.  The only difference was this... imposters smile.  It was more of a sneer.

"Serenity, you fought me even as we battled your pitiful friends, you know that, and that alone, is the only thing that stopped me from killing them?" she added in my voice, yet colder, meaner.

"I don't know what you're talking about, WHO ARE YOU?" this… THING… was just playing with me, this HAD to be some sort of nightmare, everything is a nightmare and I'll wake up and it'll all be gone.

"Why Serenity, I am you!" she stated back casually as if it was no surprising sort of thing.

"YOU AREN'T ME!  I WOULDN'T ATTACK MY FRIENDS!" I screamed back disbelieving. I would never even dream of doing such a thing!

"Oh but you did," it replied in a sing song voice as it disappeared, "you did and you will see the pain you have caused them!" it laughed as I felt myself being locked into place.

A scene appeared before me, Mars shouting with mercury being shouldered by Jupiter in the background.  The scene flicked like a bad movie screen and then I appeared, but it was not my smile nor my laugh that sounded out into the battle field,  as blasts of raw power bombarded my friends.  

I cried out and struggled against the bonds but a faint chuckle stopped me, "isn't it beautiful how friends can betray each other so easily, well in this case it's you betraying them, wounding them, laughing at them.  Look at how the shout for you to stop but you don't." it whispered in my ear.

"That isn't me." I whispered shutting my eyes.

"Denial is not only a river in Egypt eh?" chuckling ensued again as the scene and the force holding me disappeared.

"I would never attack my friends, THAT IS YOU OUT THERE NOT ME!" I shouted, I wanted this... this… monster to know it!

"oh so you figured it out, yes, yes, yes that is partly me down there… it is more or less me using you to destroy.  It is me feeding of what you wanted to happen that let me do this, so it doesn't matter, the pain is all you fault," chuckling continued, "or maybe it is Darien's fault eh?  He is the one who caused you grief so it is HIS fault!"

I couldn't respond, Darien had caused me pain, anguish, but was it his fault?  Laughing reverberated throughout the misty depths of this dungeon, scenes appearing everywhere, repeating the battle my memories of the funeral, his blunt ways of hurting me, my friends entrapping me in this prison.  

Is it my friends' fault that I'm stuck here?  No, it couldn't be, they were only doing their duty to the world to get rid of the evil, of this monster that was toying with my heart.

A scene of Jupiter attacking me to stop me from attacking a young man flitted across my vision.

_But what of their duty to you, dear Serenity?_

Them standing about me as the moon kingdom fell to pieces, them standing about me as I banished Beryl for the second and last time.

I am only one person, I do not matter… the world does.

A painful memory of standing beside a dutiful prince upon an asteroid headed for earth.

_But are you not their friend, their companion, their Princess?_

Memories of saving them after there heart crystals had been stolen, and using the power granted by the moon to protect them came and went across my line of vision.

I have betrayed them. I deserve this prison, to be trapped with this vile creature.   

Scenes of complaining about fighting, always showing up late for battles, and leaving Crisis Power Emblem to Pharaoh 90. 

_Are you sure?  Do you not wish revenge upon them, upon the world and its inhabitants that they chose over you?_

And as a sight of Mars yelling for me to transform came into my line of view I left the question to ponder and lifted the locket from my shirt.

"I will no longer let you taunt me, I have lost hope in love, not of my friends!" and with in that statement alone brought me a new hope, a hope that my friends were alive and were counting on me.

My foe appeared still me but not, for where this being was with out a heart, I had one, I had enough hope to fight her, myself.  The question was, was I strong enough?

I new not how long we battled nor how much stronger I was becoming.  I only new I had to save my friends.  I could feel them now, surrounding me in there love, their own hope, I would not fail them again!

It felt like days, had past yet I grew neither tired nor hungry.  My opponent did not seem any weaker either.  And so this continued neither of us giving in and neither of us letting the other take over, we couldn't.  Both of us were fighting for survival, fighting for life that neither of us had much experienced. 

I tried to find its weakness, but just because it looked like me I knew it was not, for my own weaknesses would not work against it.  As we battled memories sounded around us, me crying, me fighting, listening to Raye yell at me, but none of it deterred me from my goal.  

Its last words that had not contained insults, but a question kept running through my head

_Do I wish revenge on a planet that caused me so much grief, to cause me to hate them so much?_

Years passed by as the angel Serena and her demon fought a battle no one would ever see, and as they fought time flew by on the earth below.  A war had started and a Doctor named Jay, a doctor that would help to save the world by destroying one life, found a little boy.  And as technology and science replaced that of fairytales and magic, it became harder to believe in hope, and that peace would ever be something that would be placed back on the earth again.

Heero Yui was busy typing on his laptop, not an abnormal thing for the young adult, when a tell-a-tale ding rang through his dark dull bedroom.  It was, not surprisingly enough, from his tutor and the only thing close enough to resemble anything like a father he had ever known.  Opening it he found a curious lengthy message for him. 

"01 I need you and the rest of the pilots to head to the old OZ base on the moon, strange readings have been coming from the moon lately and I want to know if they are dangerous or if they can be harnessed for any sort of use to the preventors."

Heero snapped his laptop closed told his companions the mission and they were to head out in the morning.  June eighteenth, one month prior to an event that they didn't now about that had happened so many years ago.  

The statues around they silver encasing remained dormant of all power soul and body.  Having been built of a weaker substance then the main statue they remained on the planet below the enchanting moon, the only ones to know its true secret.  Soon, they all felt it there princess would succeed.  All eight of the women had kept in constant contact, being people who were technically non existing they had been creating lives for themselves and there princess, false lives, but lives all the same.  They dreaded this upcoming event; their friend would either destroy the demon with her, or free both of the warriors and create another war.  Having experienced the last one they were all looking for a little less fighting.  

Of course where a little moon bunny is concerned… that would not be happening. 

OKIE DOKIE!!! I'm done this chapter, no worries Serena will break out and then a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo is gonna happen… well I hope you enjoyed the mumbo jumbo for this chapter!  BYE BYE!!!


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